I am here, at the desteni farm. It’s my third visit. Each time it is …
Within my life I am currently walking a decision, and the more I write, the more I realize that this Decision is in fact a decision for LIFE – stopping all abuse, self-abuse, stopping all Fears, stopping the Mind, stopping all Relationships that are not supportive, stopping Addictions, stopping Lies, stopping Illusions, stopping the Characters, stopping myself as the automated System.
In this post, I will walk the FEAR of making that Decision for LIFE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change, to fear standing up and making a commitment that is in fact a self-commitment to stop all abuse within and so without.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that FEAR – nor the opposing ’sister‘ LOVE/POSITIVITY – will not change anything, that NONE of those protect me from anything, besides the realization of myself and all as myself as Life.
So, I commit myself to stand up, and make the decision for Life – as I realize that this Decision is what will determine myself as Life – DO I care about myself? Am I willing to stop abuse/self-abuse and start LIVING in Oneness and Equality to create myself as Life and this World/Earth as a place were Life is honored? YES – I will! I commit myself to care about myself as Life and care about all other living beings, manifestations, creations as Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making decisions, because I feared making the ‚wrong‘ decision and choosing the ‚wrong‘ path.
I realize that my ‚decision making‘ was based on self-interest and therefore I feared choosing what did NOT serve me in self-interest.
So, I commit myself to stop my ‚free choice‘ to choose what serves me best, but to walk my Process of Change to equalize myself with all as myself and to base all my decisions on what’s best for all. As I realize that giving up ‚free choice‘ of self-interst is FOR GIVING myself and all as myself LIFE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing everything, without seeing, realizing and understanding that all I HAVE is an Illusion itself. All I have ever created was relationships of dependency based on FEAR.
I see and realize that stopping abuse/self-abuse, stopping all relationships of dependency is a Process of Change where there will be a moment of ‚Nothing‘ – but there is no other way to make space for the new to come.
So, I commit myself to walk my Process of Change in Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to delete all abuse/self-abuse and all relationships of dependency to make space for the new to come – to be created and birthed from Nothing, as I see and realize that all I ever created was Illusions of Fear – and when I am willing to stop it all – I will gift myself and all as myself a New World and a new beginning from where we can build a System that supports Life and where Life is honored – without Dependencies or FEARs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone the Decision for Life and indulge in Fears and Doubts.
I realize that Fears and Doubts is what I have programmed into myself through time and so I became a manifestation of fears and doubts – and so fear and doubt became my ‚Nature‘ and the foundations of my world/reality.
I commit myself to walk my Process of Change in Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to re-program myself into a being of integrity and trust and delete all fears and doubts – as I realize that what I accept and allow myself to exist as/to become within and as myself I will create equal and one in the without as the World System – and to create a World that is best for all Life – I have to re-birth myself as a Being that can be trusted with Life.