In October 2012, when I was for the first time at the Desteni-Farm, I once …
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In the past days I would experience extensive Resistance to walk my Journey to Life Blog. I had also a ‚Back-Chat‘ that I did not ‚finished‘ my Walk of exposing and deconstructing myself as the Definition of True Love/Lover, but I did not know what I had missed. Yesterday I have realized that the ‚I don’t know‘ Statement is in fact a Character, wherein I am stopping and restricting myself to face myself, to expand, to transcend, to learn, to continue and to walk the Change. Within that I also realized that I when I face a point and walk the Self-Forgiveness, I create a window of opportunity for myself, which me as the Mind will try to sabotage. Deleting some of my self-definitions and beliefs created a ‚Emptiness’/Darkness within me, which I automatically fear and try to escape within and as the ‚I don’t know‘-Character and it’s fascinating how fast the Mind can fill up this Darkness with new Definitions, new Fears and new Beliefs. Therefore I script for myself a self-corrective application – that is in fact a Process of Walking the Change. Stopping the Fear of Darkness and stopping self-sabotaging myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create Resistance to walk my Journey to Life Blog, not allowing myself to realize that it is in fact me fearing the Change and letting go for real – the Illusion of Love. Within that I realize that Actual Change goes hand in hand with Resistance and Fear, as they are the protectors of me as the Mind, and that I have to make the Desicion and Walk regardless, in terms of not allowing and accepting the Mind to interfere – and so, I commit myself to stick to my decision, walk the Process in Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application – constantly and continuously – as this is the solution – breath by breath – establishing and creating myself as LIFE HERE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the Resistance is a cool indicator that I am actually moving in the ‚right‘ direction, in terms of going where it ‚hurts‘, where I as the Mind resist – and instead of walking through the Resistance I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to that Resistance and sabotage myself – and so I commit myself to utilize Resistance as an Indicator in my Journey to Life and stop the Fear of Resistance, as I realize that Fear itself shows me, that I am making the Resistance REAL and so making the Illusion REAL.
Self-Correction: When and as I see myself experiencing FEAR of RESISTANCE – I stop, I breath – I realize that Resistance is a cool Indicator that I am actually moving in the right direction and nothing to be feared. I stop the fear, and walk the Change in actual application – breath by breath – not allowing and accepting the Mind to interfere.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting completely go of Love/my Self-Definition of True Love, as I would experience that ‚Emptiness‘ as ‚Darkness‘ within and as myself and within that the Belief that my Life/myself would become ‚useless’/’empty’/unworthy‘. I realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in complete Separation of myself within Love/True Love, so that I would actually perceive letting go of Love/True Love as Death – so, I commit myself to stop the Fear of Darkness within and as me, as I realize that ‚Light’/’Energy‘ was everything I have ever known and therefore ‚Darkness‘ will appear as Death to me – within that I commit myself to explore the Darkness as the Darkness is where I came from, where Life is created, from where I can birth myself as Life/the Physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-sabotage myself in my Journey to Life, simply by following the Mind, not allowing myself to realize that the Mind has no reference when it comes to Life, because Life is NOT Knowledge and Information and I as the Mind cannot KNOW how it will be without Love, me actually stopping being LOVE/a ‚Lover‘ – and for the first time actually standing within and as the Decision of living/expressing self HERE and stopping the Illusion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, see and remember how and why and when I have abdicated my self-responsibility and submitted myself to Love – which is actually abdicating LIFE and becoming a System – to such an extent, that I would fear let go of the System and walk through the layers of Separation that I had created and manifested myself as – and so, I commit myself to walk an agreement with myself as the Physical Rebirth – to bring all separated altered Parts of myself to Oneness and Equality and to re-establish and re-create myself as LIFE HERE.