Day 418 | Keep calm, slow down and write (3)

2. November 2016

This Blog is a continuation of:
Day 416 | The Mimosa-Character – 1
Day 417 | The Mimosa-Character Fear-Dimension (2)

keep_calm_slow_down_writeAs things are unfolding I see that in my frist blog of this series I opened up a specific event that took place when a therapist was working on my spine. I felt a pain point, and within this pain I felt rejected, ashamed, affected, dismissed etc, which is part of a Personality/Character that I activate in moments where I perceive someone to react in a negative way to what I am saying or doing. Only in slowing down and writing I am able to access those moments and really see the detail of it.

When the pain occurred the therapist made actually a comment, he asked me to keep calm. Immediately I felt this pain, and simultaneously within this pain I had this Experience of feeling rejected and dismissed. How specific things are! The Event showed me clearly the physical location (pain) and the content (emotion/back-chat) of my Personality/Character and the circumstance (Therapist asking me to keep calm) I activate it. In real-time moments it is still challenging for me to see how all of this connects, it’s so quick, I suppress so quick, that it’s easy to miss the ‚whole‘ picture. Writing is the cure!  

In my second blog I opened up the Fear Dimension, and my Writing led me to the realization that this Personality is actually Part of a ‘bigger’ Programming that I do not have necessarily to activate/trigger, it has already become a Part of Me on a being-level – a Shyness and basically ‘keeping a low profile’ all of the time in any social interactions. The Mimosa-Character (reacting to external stimuli) is an outflow consequence of what I have already accepted and allowed to exist within and as myself (Self-Beliefs/Self-Definitions/internal stimuli as my Mind).

Both of those ‘Programs’ have in common an underlying fear, self-judgment and self-rejection. I will continue to walk this as the ‘Mimosa-Character’ and not change the name/structure, I just want to clarify things before I continue to peel the onion, layer by layer and see what else opens up and how I can transcend the Personality/Character and go even deeper and change on a Being-level, free myself of all the self-restrictions and self-limitations and for the first time create the path in front of me to dis-cover myself as Expression of Life here.

To be continued...

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