Day 330 – ‚I would‘

14. Januar 2014

IMG_3159The other day I came to observe a seemingly small ‘Reaction’/’Judgment’ within me, while being and walking with all the Individuals at the Desteni Farm. So it seemed to me, that they are kind of ‘pushy’ and ‘rude’ to each other, but they are quite fine with it. It was only me reacting. And I looked into the Details, what was it exactly that triggered me?

It was the direct and specific and straight communication. Clear ‘Yes’ and ‘No’s. I am very often answering or asking more what I defined as ‘polite’, which is in fact not at all ‘polite’ but only revealing my ‘insecurities’ and ‘inferiorities’ in terms of communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to speak clear and specific and direct, as I have deceived myself to believe that it is ‘polite’ to ask and to answer more the ‘I would’ way – which is in fact protecting my self-judgments and self-limitations, instead of really expanding myself and growing to my full potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contaminate and alter the word ‘polite’ in order to protect my self-image as an inferior and anxious Ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that clear, specific and direct communication is ‘rude’ and ‘pushy’ – in order to ‘fit’ my self-interest in judging others to feel better about myself.

I commit myself to purify the word ‘polite’ from all my fears and anxieties and self-judgments and to re-align myself as the living word to it direct definition of ‘showing regard for others, in manners, speech, behaviour, etc.’ – which really implies the most direct and specific communication that consider the principle of what’s best for all.

I realise that the ‘I’ as the Mind really fears speaking direct, clear and specific. Words are the spoken ‘Me’s, and ‘I’ as a Mind do not want to reveal my True Nature and so ‘I’ rather ‘beat about the bush’. But the only who benefits is my Mind – and I keep my life and myself limited and full of fear.
And so I commit myself to Process and to sort out my Mind, my Words and my Communication – and the Denifitions, Opinions and Beliefs thereof – because I realize how at the end I am only limiting and deceiving myself.


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