I have been having ‚difficulties‘ with redefining words. It is still an ‚open point‘ for …
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and to identify myself within and as the Back-Chat of ‚I don’t want to leave the farm‘, an inner voice that I have separated myself from, and so in fact created another ‚Me‘ layer, instead of taking responsibility and look beyond the consciousness – and to investigate what I really want to hide and hide from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Farm-life as ‚the easy way‘, not seeing, understanding and realizing, that what I perceive as ‚the easy way‘ took many years of preparation and dedication of many human hands and still is – and that for someone to be able to create such an environment one must stand absolutely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the Back-Chat of ’not wanting to go back into the System‘, because then I have again work for 9 hours a day, instead of seeing and realizing, that this want to ‚give up‘ my work and stop being a slave within and as the World-System is in fact self-interest and one and equal to what the Elite currently does and what the Consumerism-Industry is promoting so extensively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the Change will not come through stopping my own enslavement through hiding and running away from my resposibilites – which is what I in fact desire – but through changing within and as the System itself, which is a process of self-responsibility, dedication, patience, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, which I am able to do, whereever I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the best chance I have to change is in fact within and as the environment that I have created for myself, which is in fact my ‚home‘ environment, because this is the environment I have prepared and pre-programmed for myself within and as the very World-System. And therefore it’s the best place I can prove to myself that I have really changed, as I will have immediate, direct, tengable evidence of Real Change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a ‚feeling at home‘ to the experience I have within and as myself, as being comfortable, free to express, relaxed, stable – not realizing, seeing and understanding that this very experience of myself is the opportunity I gifted to myself while being on the Desteni Farm, and that this experience has nothing to do with the environment itself, but only what I allow and accept myself to exist as, and so I am able to gift that state of being everywhere and everytime – being HERE within and as mySelf.